Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson pdf free download

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson


In her book “Hold Me Tight,” renowned couples therapist Sue Johnson introduces the concept of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as a powerful approach to healing relationships and creating lasting intimacy. She argues that the key to a successful relationship lies in understanding and responding to each other’s emotional needs, rather than focusing solely on solving problems.

Through seven transformative conversations, Johnson guides couples through a journey of self-discovery and healing, helping them to identify and express their deepest emotions, understand their partner’s perspective, and develop healthier patterns of communication and connection.

Key Points

  • Emotional Responsiveness: The foundation of a secure and lasting relationship is the ability to recognize and respond to each other’s emotions with empathy and understanding.
  • The Dance of Attachment: Relationships are dynamic and constantly evolving, and partners move in and out of different attachment styles, such as secure, anxious, or avoidant, depending on their experiences and needs.
  • The Cycle of Conflict: Negative patterns of communication and interaction can lead to a cycle of conflict, where partners become entrenched in their positions and unable to resolve their differences.
  • Seven Conversations: Johnson provides a step-by-step guide to seven conversations that couples can use to break free from negative cycles, heal old wounds, and build a stronger emotional connection.
  • Creating a Safe Haven: In order to thrive, relationships need to be a safe haven where partners feel loved, accepted, and supported.

Where to Read “Hold Me Tight” Online


Q: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
A: EFT is a type of couples therapy that focuses on helping partners understand and respond to each other’s emotions. It is based on the idea that the key to a successful relationship is the ability to connect emotionally and create a secure bond.

Q: What are the seven conversations in “Hold Me Tight”?
A: The seven conversations are:

  1. Creating a Safe Haven: Establishing a foundation of safety and trust in the relationship.
  2. Recognizing and Responding to Emotional Needs: Identifying and expressing emotional needs and responding to them in a supportive and understanding way.
  3. Repairing Ruptures: Healing old wounds and repairing ruptures in the relationship.
  4. Learning to Forgive: Letting go of past hurts and resentments.
  5. Creating a Shared Meaning: Developing a shared vision and purpose for the relationship.
  6. Creating Sexual Intimacy: Exploring and enhancing sexual intimacy.
  7. Creating a Lasting Love: Nurturing and maintaining a lifelong connection.

Q: Is “Hold Me Tight” only for couples in crisis?
A: No, “Hold Me Tight” is for all couples who want to improve their relationship and create a deeper connection. It can be helpful for couples who are struggling with conflict, infidelity, communication issues, or simply want to strengthen their bond.

Q: How can I learn more about EFT?
A: There are many resources available to learn more about EFT, including books, websites, and workshops. You can also find EFT therapists in your area by searching online or through professional organizations like the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).